29 Jul , 22:04 | Admin   20 Mar 2010   03:48:29 pm Walking My Own Talk This has been a very snowy winter all around the country, and particularly for us here in North Carolina, where a typical winter's snowfall is about 2 inches or less. We had a couple of days with impassible streets and many more with not much to speak of on the roads, but schools still canceled or opening late. Harrison enjoyed sledding in our backyard and having our dog, Jake, pretend he was Balto, the sled dog. The snow was beautiful to look at and fun to play in, but after a few days even Harrison was getting tired of it. Twice, I drove him to school on seemingly clear roads only to find that schools were opening late - no doubt due to icier roads somewhere else in the county. I fell into a loop of complaining and grumbling - about the wimpy Southern drivers and the overly-cautious school officials, all of whom were throwing a monkey wrench into my plans for the day. It took me more than a week, but I finally heard myself - going on and on about something that wasn't the end of the world and that I couldn't control anyhow. I was definitely not walking my talk. Whether each and every closing or delay was warranted was beside the point. I wasn't behaving in a very constructive way. Once I realized what I was doing, it didn't take long before I had found ways to stop being a victim to the circumstances and was back to enjoying life as it was. Knowing an empowering way to live and actually doing it don't always go hand in hand 100% of the time, but having some tools and belief systems that work for you can make the time it takes you to self-correct a little shorter. It's only early March and we may not be out of the woods yet as far as snowy weather goes, but if we do get any more, at least I'll have a better attitude about it. I've also learned another valuable lesson - to check in on the school schedule before heading out the door, no matter how bright the sun or how the clear the roads around my neighborhood. Category : General | By : great12 | Comments [20] | Trackbacks [0] 23 Dec 2009   10:54:17 am The Journey of Christmas Most people know the saying, “Life is a journey and not a destination.” I’m beginning to think that Christmas is the same way. Yes, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day fall on certain dates, but those days are often a bit anti-climatic because they almost never live up to the expectations that we have about them. I suppose this could apply to any holiday or big anticipated event. We overburden ourselves and the event as well, expecting it to deliver something special and memorable. But holidays, just like everything else, give back what you put into them. They do not have a life of their own. Only the life that we create for them. This year I’ve been trying to really embrace the season by enjoying the journey of Christmas, rather than putting so much pressure on those 2 days to deliver the magic. So far, it’s going rather well. Some stores start playing carols right after Halloween and I suppose that is a bit of overkill, but I love listening to holiday music and usually have it on in my car and when I’m cooking; two places where I can sing along without disturbing anyone else with my renditions. My son, Harrison, has always loved decorations and we had great fun decorating our tree together as a family. He was done after about 30 minutes, but did come back later and remove the ornaments that didn’t fit into his vision for how the tree should look. I smiled and put the deleted ornaments away, because having him design the look of the tree contributes to my enjoyment of it, no matter what it looks like. Our cats have always been attracted to the tree and are fond of taking turns sitting under it on the tree skirt. This provides a double whammy of festive cuteness, and they are welcome to sit there as long as they don’t try to bat at the ornaments. I remember when Harrison was about 5 and he ran down Christmas morning and looked out the back door. He was expecting snow (thanks to every kid’s movie and book about this time of year) and stomped his foot in disappointment when there wasn’t any. The main event is still several days away, but we actually had a big snowfall here in North Carolina - a rarity for this time of year. I had to scramble a bit to get things done because the schools closed 2 hours early, but I still enjoyed hearing, “The First Snow Fall of the Winter” on the radio as I wrote out a personal card to each of his teachers, thanking them for their loving care of my son all year. When we got home, Harrison raced into the back yard with his sled and proceeded to chase our dog Jake around, wanting him to pull it “like Balto.” Holiday magic and excitement were in the air, and although Jake wasn’t interested in impersonating Balto, he loved racing up and down the hill as the snowflakes fell all around. I want the journey of Christmas to be with me all year long, not just in the month leading up to it, although December does have a certain enchantment. I want to make an extra effort each day to acknowledge my blessings, to play and to tell those I care about just how much they contribute to my life. I love the festivity of the month of December and I plan to relish the few days that are left in it. The snow will probably be all melted by the 24th, but the fun and enjoyment we’ve had will linger on. Christmas can be “just another day on the calendar” as a bah-humbug person I know likes to say, or it can be a time to reconnect with the light within us all. It’s up to you to decide. Is your holiday a wonderful journey, or merely a somewhat disappointing destination? I know which one I’m going to pick! Category : General | By : great12 | Comments [47] | Trackbacks [0] 23 Nov 2009   03:46:18 pm Happy Thanksgiving Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays, in part because I just love the idea of celebrating things with special meals and special dishes. This is despite the yearly debate with my mom about what to do after the meal. She encourages a walk, while I am more interested in a nap. I have no objection to a walk later in the afternoon, but just after that big, delectable feast, I want to close my eyes for a bit and just zone out. For the past several years my husband Darryl has been cooking our turkey out on the grill. It always comes out moist and juicy and it frees up the oven for me to bake pies or keep other dishes warm. In the past two years he has taken up cooking as a serious hobby and we are looking forward to not only a wonderful turkey, but some wild rice and goat cheese dressing as well as a red chile gravy with cranberries and blackberries. I love to cook too and I know I’ll enjoy puttering around the kitchen together, making something special for our guests. Animals are an important part of our lives and this time of year always reminds me of our old cat Skeeter who came to live with us in early November when Darryl and I were first married. A few days before Thanksgiving he came down with a serious upper-respiratory infection and was the sickest animal I had ever seen. He had no appetite what-so-ever and we were very afraid that we might lose him. The only thing we could tempt him to eat was some turkey gravy and I’m convinced that is what nursed him back to health. He never lost the taste for gravy and every year Skeeter enjoyed a little special helping to remind us all of how thankful we were that he pulled through and went on to live another 17 years. My son doesn’t care for any of the usual festive foods, so he will no doubt be eating his traditional pizza on Thursday. However, in the past few months he has sampled pie a couple of times and maybe he will share dessert with us this year. In any case, he has a smile that can light up a room and I look forward to being on the receiving end of it as we spend some time together as a family. I hope that you too will be eating some foods you enjoy, spending some time with people you love and making some memories that you will treasure in the future. As for me, I fully intend to keep up my post meal nap tradition. I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. ~G.K. Chesterton Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. ~W.T. Purkiser I feel a very unusual sensation - if it is not indigestion, I think it must be gratitude. ~Benjamin Disraeli As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy Category : Family | By : great12 | Comments [52] | Trackbacks [0] 24 Oct 2009   01:43:45 pm The Value of Humor Humor is one of my top tools for dealing with stress. I love to laugh and easing the pressure by lightening up works well for me every time. It puts me in a different frame of mind and allows me to handle whatever I’m dealing with a little better. I’ve recently discovered the TV show The Big Bang Theory. I watched a clip from a show the other day where the nerdy characters were trying to settle their disputes by playing “rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock.” Paper covers rock, scissors cut paper, lizard poisons Spock…. I don’t even remember the rest, but it just had me laughing out loud. I watched the clip a couple of times, sent it to some friends whom I knew would appreciate it and then chuckled about it all day. Anytime I felt a little frazzled I just thought about that silly clip again and it made me giggle. My family is always up for funny antics and that really keeps me going as well. One of my son’s favorite videos is called The First Snow of Winter and it features an animated flock of sheep who “river dance.” I can’t tell you how many times we have cracked ourselves up by trying to make stuffed sheep do that kind of Irish dancing or from trying to do it ourselves. It’s utterly ridiculous and we are totally inept at it, but that’s what makes it so fun. How can you be grumpy when you are attempting to river dance .… badly? My animals are also high on the list of things that make me laugh and our cat Bo in particular tickles my funny bone. He is a big, fluffy orange boy who loves to sleep on his back with his paws up in the air. He also likes to make a nest for himself in the middle of a pile of clean laundry. He's got a big personality, is passionate about good food and just loves life. If chef Mario Batali were a cat, he'd be Bo. Just the sight of him can put a smile on my face. I adore having people, animals and things around me that make me feel good. It brings me back down to earth if I’m getting worried and just makes me feel good in general. Cultivating fun and smiles is one of the most important things I do for me. Category : General | By : great12 | Comments [62] | Trackbacks [0] 10 Oct 2009   01:25:03 pm Jumping Through Hoops What do you do to garner the approval of others? What do you do to avoid disapproval? Would you go to the mall wearing a top hat and tap shoes that were several sizes too big? We are born heeding our own compass and doing the things that make us happy, but it doesn’t take long before we begin to be shaped by the messages we receive from others about how what we do and say is received. This even applies to the people whom we are closest to. The other day I caught myself saying something to my husband because I thought that it would make me look intelligent and well-informed. I know he already believes those things about me, but it was a strong impulse to shore up that opinion. One of the things I find most charming about my son is that he still is largely untouched by this need to please. He doesn’t seem to be all that concerned about what others think, especially of the things he does for fun. Our local mall has a carousel and a couple of years ago he decided he wanted to recreate a scene he liked from a TV show that involved a tap dancing bear on a carousel. He rummaged in his costume box until he found a top hat, bow tie and large plastic candy cane originally meant to be a Christmas decoration. For tap shoes he put on an old pair of Daddy’s work shoes, many sizes too big, over his white gym socks. We made a bit of a stir as we walked from the mall parking lot into the building but I just told myself that most people were probably thinking that he looked awfully cute. My son didn’t even really notice that anyone noticed him. He just wanted to get on the carousel and ride. We had a wonderful time and the operator let us ride our third time for free. As a young woman who was 6 feet tall by the beginning of 7th grade, I’ve had a certain amount of experience of not fitting in to what people expect, and I like to think that I’ve continued that in other areas of my life. However, I don’t believe that most of us have really gotten too far away from that need to seek approval and avoid disapproval. It’s such an ingrained human habit. However, I do believe that unconstructive habits can be replaced with new ones that serve us better. I am going to continue working, taking my cues from my son, and for the most part, doing the things that earn me MY approval rather than the possible good opinion of other people. Category : Family | By : great12 | Comments [39] | Trackbacks [0]   1 2 3 ...9 10 11 Next