06 Sep , 23:31 | Admin   20 Mar 2010   03:48:29 pm Walking My Own Talk This has been a very snowy winter all around the country, and particularly for us here in North Carolina, where a typical winter's snowfall is about 2 inches or less. We had a couple of days with impassible streets and many more with not much to speak of on the roads, but schools still canceled or opening late. Harrison enjoyed sledding in our backyard and having our dog, Jake, pretend he was Balto, the sled dog. The snow was beautiful to look at and fun to play in, but after a few days even Harrison was getting tired of it. Twice, I drove him to school on seemingly clear roads only to find that schools were opening late - no doubt due to icier roads somewhere else in the county. I fell into a loop of complaining and grumbling - about the wimpy Southern drivers and the overly-cautious school officials, all of whom were throwing a monkey wrench into my plans for the day. It took me more than a week, but I finally heard myself - going on and on about something that wasn't the end of the world and that I couldn't control anyhow. I was definitely not walking my talk. Whether each and every closing or delay was warranted was beside the point. I wasn't behaving in a very constructive way. Once I realized what I was doing, it didn't take long before I had found ways to stop being a victim to the circumstances and was back to enjoying life as it was. Knowing an empowering way to live and actually doing it don't always go hand in hand 100% of the time, but having some tools and belief systems that work for you can make the time it takes you to self-correct a little shorter. It's only early March and we may not be out of the woods yet as far as snowy weather goes, but if we do get any more, at least I'll have a better attitude about it. I've also learned another valuable lesson - to check in on the school schedule before heading out the door, no matter how bright the sun or how the clear the roads around my neighborhood. Category : General | Posted By : great12 | Comments[36] | Trackbacks [0] 23 Dec 2009   10:54:17 am The Journey of Christmas Most people know the saying, “Life is a journey and not a destination.” I’m beginning to think that Christmas is the same way. Yes, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day fall on certain dates, but those days are often a bit anti-climatic because they almost never live up to the expectations that we have about them. I suppose this could apply to any holiday or big anticipated event. We overburden ourselves and the event as well, expecting it to deliver something special and memorable. But holidays, just like everything else, give back what you put into them. They do not have a life of their own. Only the life that we create for them. This year I’ve been trying to really embrace the season by enjoying the journey of Christmas, rather than putting so much pressure on those 2 days to deliver the magic. So far, it’s going rather well. Some stores start playing carols right after Halloween and I suppose that is a bit of overkill, but I love listening to holiday music and usually have it on in my car and when I’m cooking; two places where I can sing along without disturbing anyone else with my renditions. My son, Harrison, has always loved decorations and we had great fun decorating our tree together as a family. He was done after about 30 minutes, but did come back later and remove the ornaments that didn’t fit into his vision for how the tree should look. I smiled and put the deleted ornaments away, because having him design the look of the tree contributes to my enjoyment of it, no matter what it looks like. Our cats have always been attracted to the tree and are fond of taking turns sitting under it on the tree skirt. This provides a double whammy of festive cuteness, and they are welcome to sit there as long as they don’t try to bat at the ornaments. I remember when Harrison was about 5 and he ran down Christmas morning and looked out the back door. He was expecting snow (thanks to every kid’s movie and book about this time of year) and stomped his foot in disappointment when there wasn’t any. The main event is still several days away, but we actually had a big snowfall here in North Carolina - a rarity for this time of year. I had to scramble a bit to get things done because the schools closed 2 hours early, but I still enjoyed hearing, “The First Snow Fall of the Winter” on the radio as I wrote out a personal card to each of his teachers, thanking them for their loving care of my son all year. When we got home, Harrison raced into the back yard with his sled and proceeded to chase our dog Jake around, wanting him to pull it “like Balto.” Holiday magic and excitement were in the air, and although Jake wasn’t interested in impersonating Balto, he loved racing up and down the hill as the snowflakes fell all around. I want the journey of Christmas to be with me all year long, not just in the month leading up to it, although December does have a certain enchantment. I want to make an extra effort each day to acknowledge my blessings, to play and to tell those I care about just how much they contribute to my life. I love the festivity of the month of December and I plan to relish the few days that are left in it. The snow will probably be all melted by the 24th, but the fun and enjoyment we’ve had will linger on. Christmas can be “just another day on the calendar” as a bah-humbug person I know likes to say, or it can be a time to reconnect with the light within us all. It’s up to you to decide. Is your holiday a wonderful journey, or merely a somewhat disappointing destination? I know which one I’m going to pick! Category : General | Posted By : great12 | Comments[60] | Trackbacks [0] 24 Oct 2009   01:43:45 pm The Value of Humor Humor is one of my top tools for dealing with stress. I love to laugh and easing the pressure by lightening up works well for me every time. It puts me in a different frame of mind and allows me to handle whatever I’m dealing with a little better. I’ve recently discovered the TV show The Big Bang Theory. I watched a clip from a show the other day where the nerdy characters were trying to settle their disputes by playing “rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock.” Paper covers rock, scissors cut paper, lizard poisons Spock…. I don’t even remember the rest, but it just had me laughing out loud. I watched the clip a couple of times, sent it to some friends whom I knew would appreciate it and then chuckled about it all day. Anytime I felt a little frazzled I just thought about that silly clip again and it made me giggle. My family is always up for funny antics and that really keeps me going as well. One of my son’s favorite videos is called The First Snow of Winter and it features an animated flock of sheep who “river dance.” I can’t tell you how many times we have cracked ourselves up by trying to make stuffed sheep do that kind of Irish dancing or from trying to do it ourselves. It’s utterly ridiculous and we are totally inept at it, but that’s what makes it so fun. How can you be grumpy when you are attempting to river dance .… badly? My animals are also high on the list of things that make me laugh and our cat Bo in particular tickles my funny bone. He is a big, fluffy orange boy who loves to sleep on his back with his paws up in the air. He also likes to make a nest for himself in the middle of a pile of clean laundry. He's got a big personality, is passionate about good food and just loves life. If chef Mario Batali were a cat, he'd be Bo. Just the sight of him can put a smile on my face. I adore having people, animals and things around me that make me feel good. It brings me back down to earth if I’m getting worried and just makes me feel good in general. Cultivating fun and smiles is one of the most important things I do for me. Category : General | Posted By : great12 | Comments[75] | Trackbacks [0] 01 Aug 2009   03:01:46 pm Being Your Authentic Self Most of us walk around wearing some sort of mask, and this applies to me as much as anyone. Social conventions keep the wheels of society rolling and in many respects they provide a valuable service, but it’s also all too easy to fall into being whom and what other people expect you to be, rather than exploring what you really want. Uncovering and developing your authentic self can we a rewarding experience, although one that may come with a little discomfort. I still remember what it felt like when I was a young, newly married woman and I made the decision to stop working. My husband had a job where he was expected to work as many hours as possible, including weekends and late into the night on many occasions. We came to the conclusion that we would have better quality time together when he was home if I were free to take care of all the other aspects of our lives without working a 9-5 job as well. It was an arrangement that suited us well, but I had to get used to the looks I often received in career-conscious Washington, D.C. when I was asked what I did for a living. As much as I would have liked to “fit in” it wasn’t worth the trade off I would have had to make to do so. As with any muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it gets. I’ve started to continually ask myself, “Does this reflect who I really am or what I want for myself? Whom am I doing this for?” There may even be areas where you aren’t even aware that you are living out someone else’s expectations. I’ve recently become conscious of the fact that although I am fascinated with energy work and have studied several modalities I haven’t really incorporated it much into my coaching. I’ve been denying something that is very important to me because I wasn’t entirely sure how other people would receive it. Recently, I’ve come to realize that it’s okay if not everyone wants to have that as a part of their coaching experience, but there is nothing wrong with giving them the option. As I move towards natural ways to bring energetic techniques and practices into my coaching sessions, I find that I am breathing a little easier because I am not expending any energy to hide who I really am. There is a certain freedom that comes from playing the role that I have created for myself, rather than the one I might believe that others expect of me. It’s still a balancing act to do what is authentic for me, while not making others uncomfortable, but I’d much rather walk that tightrope than spend my life hiding behind a mask that really doesn’t look like me at all. Category : General | Posted By : great12 | Comments[71] | Trackbacks [0] 29 Jun 2009   01:11:03 pm Follow Your Dreams, Not the Consolation Prize People often ask me how I got into coaching and the answer in short is that I embraced what I truly wanted, despite a lot of fear and reservations about how to make it happen. I was at the point in my life where caring for my son was no longer taking up all my time. He was in elementary school and I began looking for a part time job – one that would let me use my brain to think about grown-up topics; something that would nourish my creativity and give me something that was just for me. I met a life coach through Harrison’s school and decided that would be a good way to explore some of the ideas I had. I’ve always enjoyed writing, so I thought that might be a possibility. I had something else in mind as well, but I can’t remember now what it was. The parameters were that I had to have a flexible schedule that I would set and a certain amount of autonomy. I also wanted to be able to work mostly from home and I wanted something that really interested me. I wasn’t too far along in my coaching agreement before I fell in love with coaching. It seemed like a good mix of my skills and interests, and yet, I just couldn’t see how I would ever be able to do it, so I kept pushing the notion aside. First there was the matter of training. The program I wanted to do was located in California and I live on the East coast. I’d only have to go out there 4 times for 5 days at a time over 15 months, but it was still daunting. I also needed tuition money to enroll in the training program. Then there was the matter of an office and finding clients. It seemed too impossible, so I put it aside and continued to explore the other possibilities but I really couldn’t make a lot of progress because none of them were what I really wanted to do. After several weeks of seriously resisting the idea of becoming a coach, I finally admitted that was what really excited me. As I spent more and more time getting clear about what I really wanted, the pieces started to fall into place. My uncle, who had passed away earlier in the year, bequeathed me almost the exact sum I needed for tuition. My husband agreed to take off early on the days that I would be out of town and down the line a bit I figured out a way to sublet some office space and share it with another coach who also only needed it part time. Once I put the fear aside and started really looking at the details of what, when and with whom, the how started to become apparent. The same type of thing recently happened with a client of mine. We had spent several months looking at possibly moving to another city and trying to figure out what kind of job she might want. She kept saying that she just didn’t know where she wanted to go. We made progress on clarifying some of the parameters, but nothing seemed to really gel. After a while it came out that what she really wanted was to move to Australia, but she just couldn’t see how to make it work. We switched gears from trying to come up with a satisfactory second best and started focusing on how to make Australia happen. It turned out that she knew an Aussie who could answer a lot of her questions and with that as a foundation we started working on really making that dream a reality. Once she realized that she did actually know what she wanted, she said it was like a great weight was lifted. This was another great lesson for me; one that confirmed that most of the time people do actually know a lot more about what they want then they are willing to admit. It’s just that they are afraid they can’t have it, and so they are putting their energy into a consolation prize. When you own your true desires you can start going to work on making them actually happen. Talking it out with someone else is always useful, but the most important part is simply believing that you can have what you most want. Category : General | Posted By : great12 | Comments[85] | Trackbacks [0]   1 2 3 ...5 6 7 Next