06 Sep , 22:53 | Admin   23 Nov 2009   03:46:18 pm Happy Thanksgiving Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays, in part because I just love the idea of celebrating things with special meals and special dishes. This is despite the yearly debate with my mom about what to do after the meal. She encourages a walk, while I am more interested in a nap. I have no objection to a walk later in the afternoon, but just after that big, delectable feast, I want to close my eyes for a bit and just zone out. For the past several years my husband Darryl has been cooking our turkey out on the grill. It always comes out moist and juicy and it frees up the oven for me to bake pies or keep other dishes warm. In the past two years he has taken up cooking as a serious hobby and we are looking forward to not only a wonderful turkey, but some wild rice and goat cheese dressing as well as a red chile gravy with cranberries and blackberries. I love to cook too and I know I’ll enjoy puttering around the kitchen together, making something special for our guests. Animals are an important part of our lives and this time of year always reminds me of our old cat Skeeter who came to live with us in early November when Darryl and I were first married. A few days before Thanksgiving he came down with a serious upper-respiratory infection and was the sickest animal I had ever seen. He had no appetite what-so-ever and we were very afraid that we might lose him. The only thing we could tempt him to eat was some turkey gravy and I’m convinced that is what nursed him back to health. He never lost the taste for gravy and every year Skeeter enjoyed a little special helping to remind us all of how thankful we were that he pulled through and went on to live another 17 years. My son doesn’t care for any of the usual festive foods, so he will no doubt be eating his traditional pizza on Thursday. However, in the past few months he has sampled pie a couple of times and maybe he will share dessert with us this year. In any case, he has a smile that can light up a room and I look forward to being on the receiving end of it as we spend some time together as a family. I hope that you too will be eating some foods you enjoy, spending some time with people you love and making some memories that you will treasure in the future. As for me, I fully intend to keep up my post meal nap tradition. I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. ~G.K. Chesterton Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. ~W.T. Purkiser I feel a very unusual sensation - if it is not indigestion, I think it must be gratitude. ~Benjamin Disraeli As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy Category : Family | Posted By : great12 | Comments[67] | Trackbacks [0] 10 Oct 2009   01:25:03 pm Jumping Through Hoops What do you do to garner the approval of others? What do you do to avoid disapproval? Would you go to the mall wearing a top hat and tap shoes that were several sizes too big? We are born heeding our own compass and doing the things that make us happy, but it doesn’t take long before we begin to be shaped by the messages we receive from others about how what we do and say is received. This even applies to the people whom we are closest to. The other day I caught myself saying something to my husband because I thought that it would make me look intelligent and well-informed. I know he already believes those things about me, but it was a strong impulse to shore up that opinion. One of the things I find most charming about my son is that he still is largely untouched by this need to please. He doesn’t seem to be all that concerned about what others think, especially of the things he does for fun. Our local mall has a carousel and a couple of years ago he decided he wanted to recreate a scene he liked from a TV show that involved a tap dancing bear on a carousel. He rummaged in his costume box until he found a top hat, bow tie and large plastic candy cane originally meant to be a Christmas decoration. For tap shoes he put on an old pair of Daddy’s work shoes, many sizes too big, over his white gym socks. We made a bit of a stir as we walked from the mall parking lot into the building but I just told myself that most people were probably thinking that he looked awfully cute. My son didn’t even really notice that anyone noticed him. He just wanted to get on the carousel and ride. We had a wonderful time and the operator let us ride our third time for free. As a young woman who was 6 feet tall by the beginning of 7th grade, I’ve had a certain amount of experience of not fitting in to what people expect, and I like to think that I’ve continued that in other areas of my life. However, I don’t believe that most of us have really gotten too far away from that need to seek approval and avoid disapproval. It’s such an ingrained human habit. However, I do believe that unconstructive habits can be replaced with new ones that serve us better. I am going to continue working, taking my cues from my son, and for the most part, doing the things that earn me MY approval rather than the possible good opinion of other people. Category : Family | Posted By : great12 | Comments[46] | Trackbacks [0] 08 Sep 2009   03:29:29 pm An Opinion Fast An Opinion Fast My son has gotten on a banana bread kick lately. He enjoys eating it, but most especially he likes mixing it up using a recipe he saw on a kid’s show. He only wants to use this particular recipe though and we’ve recently found out that he is allergic to bananas, wheat, milk and eggs. Banana bread, or banana cake, as he calls it, is pretty much the perfect storm of what he isn’t supposed to be eating. Still, I hate to squelch creativity and the opportunity to do a project together, so I figured we’d just use another recipe; one that uses things he can have. It would still have bananas, but at least not all the other off-limits ingredients. Needless to say, this idea did not go over too well. He really wanted to make it his way, so I did one that he could later eat, and let him make a second batter using the TV recipe. He followed the recipe to the letter in some parts, but for some reason went a bit overboard on the salt. The batter got a huge pour of salt rather than the pinch that was called for. Still, we baked it up and when it was cool, he asked to eat some. That’s when I heard myself saying, “I don’t think you’re going to like it. It’s going to be very salty.” I have a lot of opinions. I guess most human beings do, but I seem to have an extra abundance of them sometimes. Just ask my husband and he will no doubt confirm it. I do a pretty good job of keeping them in check in my professional life because I’ve been trained to not overshadow my clients with my perspective and my thoughts on a subject, but in the rest of my life, I could use a little work. I decided one way to at least be aware of how many times I spout my opinion would be to go on a week-long “opinion fast.” I started this yesterday morning. I am pretty sure I can’t stop myself from having opinions, but I figured I could at least try to refrain from sharing them – even if my opinion was that something was good. I caught myself twice offering up the opinion that something was good or a good idea, but then came the banana bread comment. Yes, it’s probably a fact that the banana bread will be saltier than most recipes, but I really can’t possibly know if my son will end up liking it that way, and it really wasn’t going to hurt anything to let him discover for himself. He actually did eat a little bit of it, until one of my cats came over and gave it a few big licks. I’m fairly sure that cats don’t typically eat banana bread, but I know that they do like salt. That was the end of that banana bread experiment but it was a valuable learning experience for both of us. Well, I couldn’t even make it through one day without offering up some opinions, but I’m still going to continue trying for the rest of the week. If nothing else, I’ll at least strengthen my awareness of how much I do it. My goal is to get much better at listening to the people I’m interacting with; to be aware of their thoughts and wishes and to really hear what they are trying to communicate without having it get lost in the formulation of my opinions about it. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to the store. We are just about out of salt. Category : Family | Posted By : great12 | Comments[88] | Trackbacks [0] 07 Jun 2009   11:22:25 am Driven to Try Last week we popped into the vet on the way home from school to pick up some prescription food for one of our cats. I knew I’d just be a second and so I let my 11 year old son stay in the car. I was gone long enough that when I returned he was sitting in the driver’s seat. As I came around the car he pointed to the passenger side, indicating that this was where I should go. I just laughed and told him, “Sorry, but you aren’t driving home today.” It took a few more minutes to convince him to move over so that I could drive us both home. Besides the fact that he is years away from being legal to drive, he doesn’t really know how to operate the car. Neither of these things phase him in the slightest. I’ve caught him behind the wheel of my car several times in the past few weeks and despite all evidence to the contrary, he seems to think that it is just a matter of time before he starts driving. I always take the keys with me when we are in public, but I’m starting to think I ought to never leave them in the car, even in the garage, because I don’t really know when he will figure out how the ignition works. When he wants something, he is pretty persistent and I’d really rather not have to start worrying about finding my car at the bottom of our hill for a few more years yet. I have to say that I really admire his boldness and sense of adventure though. How many times do we shrink from something new because we don’t already know how to do it? Of course, attempting to do something dangerous like driving a car when you are not of legal age and don’t know the first thing about what you are doing is probably not a wise idea. However, there are lots and lots of times when we don’t attempt the unknown because we don’t want to look foolish or we aren’t exactly sure what the end result will be. We rob ourselves of new experiences and opportunities to really chase our dreams when we play it safe all the time. One of the most instructive experiences I have ever had came when something that I was counting on to happen in a certain way fell apart at the last minute. At first I felt that I was left high and dry, but after a few days of reflection I realized that the dissolution of all my plans left me with a clean slate. What was I going to do now? Whatever the heck I wanted to! I could design a whole new scenario that worked even better for me than the one that had imploded. It gave me huge confidence to step forward more boldly in all areas of my life. The possibility of failure was still very real, but it just didn’t have the same weight anymore. So what if I fail? I’ll just pick up the pieces and start on something new. I still have comfort zones, like everyone else, but I’ve gotten a lot better at stepping out of them. I know that falling short doesn’t have to take on a heavy meaning. My son is one up on that because he still doesn’t know that falling short is a possibility. Every time he gets behind the wheel of my car, I’m sure he thinks that this is the time he’ll actually get to operate it. It is only a matter of time before he gets to drive for real, but the time is in years rather than weeks. That doesn’t stop him from enjoying the experience of giving it a try though and turning up his favorite song really loud. Category : Family | Posted By : great12 | Comments[54] | Trackbacks [0] 24 Nov 2008   06:41:35 pm Grateful to Avert Disaster Thanksgiving is almost here and now is the perfect time to really get in touch with what we are thankful for - abundant food, time with family and a few days off are all good starters. Even if you don't like your extended family much or the dinner table will be a bit leaner this year than on others, getting into that "attitude of gratitude" can make this time of year, and every day that much better. And there’s nothing like a little averted disaster to really get you into that grateful feeling. Yesterday morning my entire family was in a bad mood. I hadn't had enough sleep and my husband and son were both not feeling well. It was easy to be snippy and irritated with each other. The whole morning was so depressing and I wondered how we were ever going to make it through the day. After lunch my husband decided to adjust the feet on the stove we'd bought a couple of months ago. The front feet rest on tile, but the back feet are only on subfloor and the whole thing was a bit tilted. It turned out to be kind of big project, which is I guess why we had put it off for so long. After lots of back and forths to see if it would be level, we prepared to wrestle the stove back into it's spot for the last time. It seemed stuck and we jostled it around, trying to figure out why it wouldn't budge. The stove, although not particularly heavy, is an awkward cube shape and when it’s mostly slid into it’s little niche in the kitchen, it isn’t easy to manipulate. That’s when we started to smell the gas. Oh no, we must have ruptured the gas line somehow. I grabbed the phone as we herded the family out on to the deck in the 38 degree weather to wait for the gas company rep to arrive. He got there in about 20 minutes and took one look at our stove. "You've got an unlit burner on," he said, not exactly thrilled to be called out on a Sunday to deal with our cluelessness. Needless to say, we felt kind of foolish, but oh so happy that it hadn't been something more serious. One of us must've bumped a burner while trying to move the stove around. We finished putting the stove back in place and some how the rest of the day went fine. No one was crabby anymore and we had a really enjoyable afternoon. We were just so happy to be safe and warm and not to have incurred any expensive repairs that we just forgot about all that was seemingly wrong in the morning. Even if we had broken the gas line, there still would have been plenty of things to appreciate and be thankful for. Focusing on what was going well rather than what was going wrong just made the experience so much better. My son loved "camping out" under a blanket on the deck and we all got into the spirit. If we had focused on how cold it was and how inconvenient it was to have to wait outside in November or how our house was filling up with gas, it would have been a whole 'nuther experience. "The enlightened give thanks for what most people take for granted. As you begin to be grateful for what most people take for granted, that vibration of gratitude makes you more receptive to good in your life." -- Rev. Michael Beckwith Even if you aren't exactly sure you know what a vibration is and how that might apply to you, most people can appreciate that when you think about what is good in your life you are more likely to notice and enjoy even more good things. If you've ever bought a new car you probably have had the experience of seeing similar cars everywhere for a few weeks afterward. You might not have noticed that so many people in your community owned a light blue VW Beetle until you bought one and suddenly they were everywhere. It's not that there are really any more blue Beetles on the road, but that is what you have become aware of now that you have one. It works the same with gratitude. If you think that life is basically good and you are aware of how much you enjoy that nice hot cup of coffee in the morning or the chance you had to chat with a friend, than more good things just tend to show up. When you stub your toe getting out of bed, it's really easy for the whole morning to go wrong. That is unless you make a conscious decision to turn it around or it looks like something really bad is about to happen and then it doesn't. If you are worried that your house might go up in flames or that your dog who refuses to leave the gas filled kitchen might asphyxiate, then life looks pretty good when that doesn’t occur. If counting your blessings doesn't come naturally, don't worry. Like anything new, it just takes practice. No matter what your circumstances, there are things to enjoy and appreciate. Try listing 5 to yourself every day and see if you don't notice blue VW Beetles everywhere. Category : Family | Posted By : great12 | Comments[104] | Trackbacks [0]   1 2 3 Next